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The Italian that went to New York

September 2nd, 2003 by Tony

(da leggersi in inglese con forte accento italiano):

When I arrive in Niu Yok, I go to da restaurant for da breakfast, and da waitress only gimme onne piss of toast, so I say to da waitress: “I want to piss”, and she say to me: “Go to da bathroom”, and I say: “No, you donna understand, I want to piss on da table now”, and she say to me: “You better not piss on da table, you sonnovabitch”.

Then I go to another restaurant for da lunch and da waitress gimme a spoon and a knife, but she gimme no fok, so I say to da waitress “I wanna fok”, and she say to me “Everybody wanna fok”, and I say: “No, you donna understand, I wanna fok on da table now”, and she say to me: “You fok yosself, you sonnovabitch”.

Then I go to da hotel fo da night, and on ma bed there is da cover, but there is no shit, so I telephone and I say: “I want to shit”, and they say to me: “Go to da bathroom”, and I say: “No, you donna understand, I want to shit on da bed now”, and they say to me: “You better not shit on da bed, you sonnovabitch”.

So in da morning I go to da airport to go back to Italy, and da man at da ticket counter say to me: “Peace to you”, and I say: “No, piss to you, you fuckin’ american, I go back to Italy”.

Posted in World Zap | 8 Comments »

8 Responses

  1. Black Cat Says:

    Sai che e’ la mia preferita :D :D :D

  2. Skylark Says:

    Carina. E’ la prima volta che la leggo. :D

  3. Tripudiatore Says:

    In China, there were three brothers: Chu, Bu and the sister Fu. They decided to move, all toghether, to US, looking for glory and money in the country where the dreams become real. Just before to move there, a friend of them said “well, congratulation for your courage, but you didn’t consider everything you should”. “What the hell are you chattering”, said Chu. “You know”, replied the friend, “to have success in America, you need american names too”. “Maybe you’re right”, said Chu. After a quick consultancy, they decided to change their name in order to get them sound “more american”. So that Chu became Chuck, Bu became Buck… and Fu decided to stay in China! – Giuro chedetta dal mio amico sembrava molto più carina! :rolleyes:

  4. Black Cat Says:

    E’ vecchia… :zzz:

  5. Effe Says:

    Gud gad !

  6. tripudiatore Says:

    Anche tu sei vecchia, ma qualcuno che ti si accatti l’hai trovato lo stesso! :D

  7. Tony Says:

    Ma come ti permetti??? Cafone… adesso goeagles viene li’ e ti incula.

  8. Tripudiatore Says:

    Ho visto solo ora avvicinarsi la minaccia di goeagles. Ritiro tutto: è un giovane fior di loto. Sapevi che ci si fa la droga con il fior di loto? Ok, questo non c’entra… AUGURI (tento di pararmi il culo…)

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